Finding a Mate (I)
- In our generation, there is a great concern for gemilas
chasodim, but it seems that there is one aspect of gemilas chasodim which is
not as appreciated as others (relatively few are involved in it): the chesed
of helping a Jew find his mate and create a home. - One of the mitzvos from which a person benefits in this
world and the next, is the mitzvah of assisting a bride to get married. An
important part of this mitzvah is to help a bride find her mate. The mitzvah
applies equally to unmarried men, for “G-d sits and waits expectantly for him
to get married” (Kidushin 29b). The Chazon Ish wrote that it is a
mitzvah to help people get married and when a person is involved in helping
men and women find their mates, they achieve a special closeness (dveikus)
to G-d and His middos for since He created the world, G-d has been
involved in arranging marriages (Bamidbar Rabbah 96). So a person who
is actively engaged in helping people get married is doing what G-d does and
in this way engaged in the mitzvah of deveikus to G-d. - There is no greater chesed than the efforts a person makes
to help a person get married, especially if he/she has been trying to get
married for a long time. Everyone has a mate. Who that mate is was already
established forty days before he was created (this applies both to first and
second marriages). - Getting married is considered a sacred matter. Just how
important helping a person find his mate is in the eyes of Chazal is seen from
the fact that they permitted people to arrange marriages on Shabbos. Even on
Tisha B’av it is permitted to get engaged. A person is allowed to make
arrangements to find a mate even on the day that his parents have died!
