Hatred II

Do not hate your brother in your heart.


  1. If someone whom you hate asks advice from you, you should give him good,
    correct advise.

  2. Do not reveal the secrets of a person whom you hate, because when you make
    up with him, you will feel ashamed and be unable to look him in the eye.

  3. A person should not hate a person because his friend hates him. A person
    may only hate those whom G-d hates.

  4. If you want to avenge yourself of your enemies, improve your character and
    conduct yourself with righteousness, for he will be pained to see it and to
    hear people speak well of you. But if you do something that gives you a bad
    name, he will be delighted.

  5. A person should pray that a person he hates comes to serve G-d. When he is
    sick, you should pray for his recovery and certainly never pray for his fall
    or failure.

  6. If a person made a vow not to lend things or to greet someone he hates, a
    Rav can find an opening to release him from his vow by asking him, “If you
    had known that you were violating , “Do not take vengeance” and “Do
    not hate your brother in your heart,” would you have made the vow?

  7. When a person who hurt you asks forgiveness, you should not hold back
    forgiveness, for that is not the way of the Jewish People. Rather, after he
    has asked forgiveness once or twice and it is clear that he has stopped his
    destructive behavior and regrets what he has done, he should be forgiven. It
    is praiseworthy to forgive quickly and pleases the spirit of the wise when
    they hear of it. (When a person forgives another who has hurt him, he should
    be careful to rid himself of all bad feelings toward him. Then, he will find
    that, after forgiving him, it will be hard for bad feelings to return.)

  8. If a person slandered him, he is not required to forgive him, but a person
    who possesses humility will forgive him nevertheless.

  9. It is forbidden to ask G-d to judge and punish a person who has hurt him.
    A person who does that will himself be judged.

  10. If a person has trouble freeing himself of bad feelings toward another, he
    should do him a favor. His good deed will subdue his bad feelings.

  11. Just as it is inappropriate for a wise person to hate a person who has
    hurt him, if he is mentally ill, it is inappropriate to hate a destructive
    person whose mind is diseased with maliciousness and bad characteristics.
    There is no difference between such people and a person who is mentally ill.

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